The things I have to give up for our little one.

Few days ago, I posted an old picture of us from two years ago along with this caption. 2015 has been filled with lots of surprises and good vibes, and we are truly blessed for everything that is given to us. We are not "lucky" because these things comes with a price tag but we have been blessed with rezeki that has been given to us. People think we have it easy but they don't see what goes behind "the scene". They think we have money because we have a bike, a family car, a house that will start renovation soon and a little one coming up, but they have no idea how much we are sacrificing to be independent and standing on our two feet. Talk is easy but I am pretty sure these people will have a hard time standing in our shoes. But who cares right about them?

Many people expressed their opinion that we are having our little one too soon. TBH, they are right. We got pregnant a month ++ after our wedding (which it would have been fun to be "bunting pelamin" and have "family" members talk about it) which means we only had one month + of date nights out of the house. But the pregnancy has even made us closer to each other and something for us to look forward to. Yes, we do miss the moments when I wasn't nausea or vomiting or too tired to do cool stuff, but we are looking forward to the end product. Anyway there is no right time to be pregnant and have kids. And I have always planned to close factory before I turn 30.

One of the things I had to give up was what I have been saving for; Klothes by Katt. I have everything planned from my right hand man to my photoshoot to my kind of clothes for K by K to even talking to the man who is going to help me produce my clothing line to having my own office which means quitting my full time job before I work on Kouture by Katt. I planned to the last detail but I have to push it back to 2016 because my priority goes to the little one.

One of the things we had to give up was the whole house renovation. Initially when we bought the house, we wanted to redo the whole house and then move in. I even had several boards on Pinterest on how I would imagine our house would be but alas with the little one coming pretty soon, house is no longer a priority. So we are only repainting the house and redoing the kitchen cabinet. That's it. The rest has to wait after the little one is at least 2 years old, and maybe by then we may even decide to have another one (hahaha, ada hati nak go through another round of first trimester) and the doing-up house has to wait until we close factory. Oh, goodbye baby pink SMEG fridge. 

The other things we had to give up include spending unnecessary things on ourselves. Which just simply means less shopping for us. But we find every single thing we give up, is worth for the end product. We can't wait for November to come quick (or October if the little one decides to pop out earlier). Hell, we can't wait for end of this month for the detailed scan and to find out if I am carrying a boy or a girl.

Oh speaking of scans, here is the little one at 16 weeks:

Such a blessing to be able to carry this little one.

My heart is screaming with so much love!!!

Anyway, on our last visit with Asst Prof Han, we asked him if we are having a girl or boy. He was scanning and moving it here and there to get a better look, and then asked, "You want girl or boy?" And we said, "We have no preference." Then he told us his hunch! HAHAH, but he can't confirm it because our little one is lying down sideways so it was hard to see. But in his words, "High chance it is a ......" (Little one cannot be naughty on the next visit okay! Must be cooperative!)

But marrying Baobei is like marrying a Chinese. Like a Chinese, family name can only be carried down by sons. Baobei is the last man in his family that can carry his family name because his uncles either have no children or no sons. So if we have daughters only, his family name Raja will die with him but if we have at least a son, and when our son have children, they will have Raja in their name. But regardless girl or boy, our children's names will start with Raja. So I jokingly told him that if I am angry with him and the kids, I will shout, "RAJAAAAAA," and everyone has to come out to be punished. Hahahaha. 

Little one can now hear, and recognise voices and apparently is moving which means it is a matter of time before I can feel but the thing is, each time my tummy moves I think my food is digesting and I can't tell the difference! Haha!!! Mama is excited asking me to tell her once I can start feeling the baby move! Baobei also makes an effort to talk to the little one and putting his ear on my tummy to check if the little one is sleeping. HAHAH! Super adorable and so much love!!! Other times Baobei will start rubbing the tummy or he puts his hand on my tummy to feel the little one's heartbeat! 

I got this cream, as recommended by Kak E, for my growing tummy which Baobei puts for me when he is not at work just before sleeping:

Thanks Mama for buying the cream for me :D

Mama and Baba are super excited for the next scan because it means they get to start buying bottles and baby clothes! Right now, they don't know if they should be buying pink or blue milk bottles etc. Mama even bought the mattress and pillow set for the little one when the little one was only 12 weeks old. Super blessed!!!

Me at 15 weeks turning 16, and Baobei, well 2 years already.

HAHAHAHA.

My friends said that my tummy is the same size as theirs after dinner so let me show you this:

This was slightly after turning 16 weeks!

I am naturally a slim build person who does have her "bigger moments" where it ends up on my thighs and ass, but I don't always have a tummy. So having a bulging tummy is something I am not used to and up til now, it takes awhile to get used to. Heh. I once what'sapp Baobei that and his reply was, "I am used to having a tummy." Haha!

Anyway, I still owe tons of entries about haus hunting to the process of buying a resale flat to the things that we bought for the house before I will blog if we are having a girl or boy. Soon you will see 2 pages; one for house and one for the little one for updates like you see for the wedding!

Anyway any guesses?

The (painful) first trimester.

Paiseh eh! 12 weeks is not the end of the first trimester. 14 weeks is the end of the first trimester. So if you are reading this post, I am done with my first trimester fo'real.

Anyway, if you have read my last post here about how unexpected this little miracle of ours, you would know that we went ahead with our "second honeymoon"/babymoon to Phuket. Initially both our parents were skeptical about letting us go because the pregnancy is still new and we are overseas. But looking at how okay I was, they allowed us to go anyway. But guess what lah friends? Morning sickness kicked in while we were in Phuket. Luckily we booked rooms with swimming pool/jacuzzi and they had great room service. When Mama and Abang picked us at the airport, I couldn't be more relieved to see Mama that I wanted to cry there and then.

The next day we saw Asst Prof Han at KKH Clinic for our first check-up.

Basically the check-up was to confirm our pregnancy.

We could see the egg sac that holds our little #kattkrownjr.

Anyway, it was about that time we broke the news to our closest friends and we were so happy about the love this little one is already receiving. 

It was bed rest for me the moment I got home. I had zero appetite because I was feeling nausea all the time. It wasn't just in the morning as the name suggests but it was all day, err day for me. Every waking moment, I felt nausea. It didn't help when I did manage to eat, it goes back to the toilet bowl. Mama tried to cook all sorts of things for me, even the ones she never cooked before, just to see what kind of food I can tolerate. 

I am very thankful to Mama and Baobei. Mama cooks for me all the time and making sure that I am okay. She helps to change my bedsheet because I was on it all the time, and TBH that's just gross haha. Baobei will always follow me to the toilet when I threw up and helped to rub my back. And they both have wiped my tears when I was crying from feeling super helpless at what I was feeling. I was probably depressed at one point of time because I am feeling nausea 24/7. Yes, vomiting means you have a healthy baby inside of you, but I couldn't help feeling so useless that I couldn't keep any food down and I didn't feel like a normal person. I was sleeping half the time while the other half of the time I am forcing myself to sleep so I don't vomit out my food or feel nausea.

I even joked with Baobei and told him that we are just having one kid. That's it.

We were supposed to have an appointment with Asst Prof Han 4 weeks later but one day, I couldn't keep anything down; food or water. I was on the bed crying already. Baobei looked at me, feeling very helpless because this is not something he can do for me. So he brought me to KKH A&E where the doctor couldn't hospitalised me because I wasn't severely dehydrated but she gave me a different pill for the vomiting, which helped most times.

Then we scheduled for an earlier appointment with Asst Prof Han because I needed long MC (yup, I didn't go back to work after March holidays). 

This one is harder to see because our little one is at the top right hand corner.

And our little on is now long.

Hahaha. Our friends had a hard time guessing where's the little one.

(Right Shiqs and Zaki? ;p )

It my cousin's, Kak E, words "It is amazing how something so small can make you feel nausea all the time." 

#kattkrownjr's EDD is mid November, according to my last menstrual cycle. We are quite pleased with the date (actually no preference also).

Things started to look up at Week 9 where I had good days and bad days. Good days where I can eat properly without vomiting or nausea after. Bad days where nothing stays in at all. It got bad one day while Baobei was at work and no one was home, so I called him crying. Luckily my parents were on the way home from JB, so they fetched me to KKH A&E where I had to be on drip for 2 hours because I was dehydrated and had no food intake:

Bad days always, always happen when Baobei is at work. So attached to the father this one. Always acting up when he is at work. 

Anyway, we decided to bring Mama for the last check-up because according my app, we can hear the baby's heartbeat! 

Our little #kattkrownjr was moving during the scan!

It was such an amazing feeling!

Like as if #kattkrownjr was waving hello to us and Grandma 

(yes, that's what Mama wants to be called).

We also managed to hear the heartbeat!

How fast our little one has grown from the last scan!

We also found out that #kattkrownjr's EDD is pushed forward a week earlier, which means I ovulate much earlier than what was predicted by the app. Whatever it is, super thankful for this little one.

We also forgo the down syndrome test because both of us are pretty young so Asst Prof Han says the chances are very small. Also both sides of our families do not carry genes. Anyway, this is all kuasa Tuhan. In Shaa Allah diberikan apa yang terbaik for us.

I swear that during the trying period of the first trimester, I held on to the fact that I am partly doing this for my parents. I know how much my parents loves babies/kids and I want them very much to have a cucu to hold. And I hope the "baby dust" will spread to Kakak and Kak Yaya soon because I need people to go through this with and suffer hahahah.

You know, sometimes I wish they were pregnant instead of me. Being the youngest, I always have the luxury of knowing what to expect because Kakak has to go through school, work, marriage etc first so I have someone to ask how is it like. I know this is rezeki masing-masing but I just wish things happen a little differently. In Shaa Allah though. 

Oh on a side note, please don't tell me that I have no right to be happy about my pregnancy. I am entitled to be happy. I am not showing off because as you can see, my pregnancy is not a bed of roses. I am not putting it out there and shoving the fact that I am pregnant because you're not pregnant yet or you had a miscarriage. Please remember, all of these come from Allah. I am sharing my happiness and of course, I want something to read later on about my pregnancy (just like my wedding), and if you can't see that, unfollow me/don't read me. Common sense, no? No one put a gun to your head, really. And I have no energy to argue with dumb, narrow minded people. Baobei was "Jangan layan lah orang gini. So busok hati." I don't usually complain to my husband but I share everything with him.

On a happier note, our next check-up is end of this month. We may be able to find out if we are having a girl or boy then. That is if #kattkrownjr is cooperative. It is also easier to see if we are having a boy than a girl. If not, we can only find out on our 5 month scan which is end of June. But whatever it is, girl or boy, as long as you're healthy, sweetheart because that's what Moma and Daddy/Abi want. Yes, Baobei can't decide if he wants to be called Daddy or Abi (ye lah, mana nyer Arab my husband but leave it to him to think of such things).

So I told him, if #kattkrownjr is girl then you will be called Abi and if boy then you will be called Daddy. For the supportive online friends/strangers, thank you for your doas and kind wishes, please keep us in mind until November.

I am still waiting for my magical day where I don't feel nausea/vomit and can finally eat like a normal person. In Shaa Allah soon! Pray for me please!

The story of our miracle baby.

Okay so we weren't busy with the house but with our little junior actually. And we didn't want to say anything until we have (Alhamdulilah) crossed over to the second trimester. So sorry for the MIA / BS okay? Hope you will enjoy our #kattkrownjr journey.

Written on: 14/03/2105, Saturday

If you're reading this, our first trimester is over and we are currently on our second trimester.



The story behind our unexpected pregnancy:

You know when they say it happens when you least expect it? This pregnancy is super unexpected. I remember crying the first time (well second, because I had my period just before flying off for our honeymoon) when I was one day late. Last month, I had been having "pregnancy symptoms" like nausea and felt extremely tired that I was convinced in my head that I was pregnant. So when I was a day late, I was excited. Peed on a Watsons pregnancy test kit (yes, we already bought one), and came back negative. Baobei was super sweet, he hugged me back to sleep. I went for tuition. After tuition, I felt cramps and found out I got my period. So I was making peace with myself that we are not pregnant on the way home. But when I went home for lunch and Baobei hugged me, I cried. I actually freaking cried. It is not as easy as people think. It is not having unprotected sex and we can pregnant next month. Up til I got married, I have no idea that we only have 24-hour window to have get the sperm to reach the egg. So anyway, I have this app called "What's To Expect- Fertility" where I keep track of my period and my fertile week. It looks like this:

Pink is period

Green is fertile week

Dark green is most likely to ovulate aka 24-hour window

The fertile week in Feb, Baobei was caught up being nervous about his 2A Traffic Police Test so we didn't have much baby-making time. So I have already mentally prepared myself that we were not going to be pregnant in March.

This is my March calendar.

We will be going to Phuket, Thailand for our second "honeymoon" / short break today, which we booked while we still in Gold Coast, so I was telling Baobei that my menses will be over by the time we are at Phuket. And when we were at his parents' on last Sunday (8/3), his parents had "the talk" with us because they thought the reason we are not pregnant yet is because we were planning. Ibu was "Petua nyer, lepas uzur dan mandi bersih, bersatu."

But Monday, no period. No signs, whatsoever. I was okay, menses are going to be late because like I said, we didn't have much baby-making time during the time I was fertile. By Wednesday, I was a bit hopeful but didn't want to say out aloud because I am afraid to jinx it (except to Baobei, Mama and Kakak). 

Thursday and 3 days late. Nausea was more frequent as compared to yesterday, have lower abdomen cramps and had to keep peeing all the time (super annoying!). Baobei actually felt nausea after dinner (which is what I had for the last 2 days!) so we made a decision to test on Friday. Friday is a good day to test right? We went to NTUC to get a pregnancy kit because we can't find the other Watsons stick from last month.

Costly eh this Clearblue Compact?

$14 for one stick only.

So I set alarm on Friday at 5.17am. I didn't want to be so disappointed like the last time round. It was crazy, to wait for me to be 4 days late to test. So I went to pee by myself because if it is negative, I can calm myself down first. I peed and by the time I washed up, I took the stick back to our room to look at it together with my sleeping Baobei. Saw a super, super faint second line but the results is valid after 3 minutes and before 10 minutes of the peeing on the stick (for Clearblue compact). I still didn't want to be hopeful yet. After 3 minutes I woke Baobei up and we looked at it together:

TWO LINES!

Baobei was "What does it mean? Why is it so faint?" 

I said, "It means we are pregnant." 

The website says no matter how faint or dark it is, if there are 2 lines, it means you are pregnant. So happy for this unexpected news! Syukur Alhamdulilah. I went to my parents room and woke them up at 5.30am! Their blur but happy faces were amazing. Will never forget that: My husband's smile and our kiss and my parents' faces!

Yes we are pregnant. 

Not sure what's the next step so I met Mama after work (Baobei was at work) and we went to my family doctor who suggested polyclinic for referral. But we were sill undecided if we wanted to go private or KKH. Made an appointment at Ang Mo Kio Polyclinic after lunch where we met Mak, Cik Boy and Aunty Jannah who told us about their gynae, Asst Prof Han who is attached to KKH Clinic at Ang Mo Kio (which means we will deliver in KKH):

So appointment today is 14/03/2015 at 1pm.

(which while blogging, Prof Han is called in for surgery and we changed it Wednesday, 18/3 at 6.50pm after we are back from Phuket)

On the way home, we wanted to double confirm the pregnancy so Mama belanja pregnancy test kit, Clearblue Pregnancy Test, haha. Since the indicator if we are pregnant is clearer as compared to 2 lines. Luckily ada 20% discount!

Since I am 4 days late, I don't have to wait for morning pee aka first pee in the morning.

I was surprisingly nervous since I had a faint line in the morning.

Results:

 Definitely pregnant.

Syukur Alhamdulilah for this wonderful miracle Allah for my husband and I. My cousin, Kak E, was telling me that there will be scan so we will get to see you our lil Raja in scans... so you know what's the next update about huh?