Ever since
The Kakak-Kakak Tunang/Kahwin Clan series Part 3 started trending on the Facebook, I was told that most people agreed with me, while some told me to get married before I speak of the topic. And I find this particularly funny because hantaran is before the marriage. So how can I talk about it when it matters before my marriage? Some people are bitter that I am trending on Facebook or my face is appearing non-stop. Okay, let's clear some stuffs between you and me:
- I never asked for the blog post to be trending. If I wanted it to trend, I would have tried my hardest to promote it back in November 2013. Actually, come to think of it I may have posted the link on my Facebook and Twitter after writing it. It didn't trend then (hahah I am not popular *cries*) but some popular kid out there shared on his/her page that probably had thousands of friends on his/her list. So don't hate me, hate the popular kid if you must.
- This topic is sensitive to the Malay community so what gives me a right to talk about it? Because I find it downright ridiculous that people are putting a price on their daughters yet no one is saying anything about it. Taboo? Well, it's about time someone said something. I know this is an unfavourable opinion for a woman especially, but I believe there's always a line between 'religion and tradition' and often people get carried away. Your hantaran is $10,000? K. I don't care, and I never will. It is unlike me to KPO on other people's business. So don't get all crappy with me because I spoil market or what. You're probably bitter because either you wish you're me or you fall on the other side of the debate. Either way, you can't win.
- I stand by my opinion that even if the guy side mampu to pay the hantaran, he still shouldn't. For one, to who are you trying to show? Why do you need to show? So what if he can pay me 30k but he does not have qualities of a good husband. No price can put on that kind of qualities. So I rather people see my husband as a good man who is able to take care of my needs, love me always, makes me happy, provide for me (on a daily basis instead of just one day) and is loyal to me. I pick that over 10k. What does 10k show? He can provide me a comfortable life but what if his perangai is shit and causes me unhappiness? So what lah, big deal 10k. Why not instead of asking me how much is the hantaran, ask if he makes me happy for a change? (To answer that question, Yes Baobei does make me very happy.) Anyway, my late BIL gave my sister hantaran of 15k (willingly as he initially planned on 10k but when his parents came over to merisik, he changed to 15k) not only did my own relatives talked shit about it but also said things like "Eh menantu Rahman kaya eh." My late BIL was not rich. He worked very hard and was thrifty. Big difference eh Makcik. (///Side track: I miss you Abang Faizal. I always wished you could have met Syahrul.)
- People say that hantaran will remind men about the hardships before the wedding which will then make him realised and work harder for the marriage. My take? Marriage is two person working hard on it, every f day. Yes, men are the ones who provide for us and they are our imam, But what makes you think that it should only be the men who works hard to make a marriage work? Both should make an equal effort to keep the marriage here work so you will be together in the thereafter. And since you women think it's so easy, why don't you save the same amount of money you asked for the hantaran on top of the wedding, and you tell me if it is easy. Not so easy to ask for 10k huh?
- My future MIL actually asked if Syahrul can give me 5k for hantaran instead of the agreed amount of $3,333.33 but Syahrul and I told her no (and explained my rationale instead of dismissing her suggestions because that is just downright rude). I understand where is she coming from because she wants people to know that her anak is doing well and is able to take care of a wife. But I also told her that I know that, my parents know that and they, as his parents, know that, and for me, that is more than enough. Besar or kecik, tetap people are going to talk about it. So no need to make it into a big fuss.
Anyway, we have already used part of the hantaran to book our flight for the honeymoon (that on a separate entry about how we going to present the duit hantaran on our wedding day since we have already used it) and definitely will be using more of it to book the hotels and miscellaneous stuffs once we have settled the itinerary.
But if you're still not happy, at least have the decency to say it to my face lah or directly to me. Instead of thrashing me on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or whatever lah. Don't be such a coward, I am so easy to find on all platforms of social media. You can also leave an anonymous comment for all I care, at least it's to me and not through other people. Please lah, grow some balls and then we can talk like human beings. If not, I suggest you eat up your unhappiness and let it die inside of you. K.
I am very opinionated so if you think you can't deal with it, don't read me. But if your choose to still do it, and you sakit hati, remember that you brought this upon yourself. I have basic respect and courtesy for every human being but once we have crossed that line, I don't really have anything nice to say to you.
Oh wells, you can't win with people who are so narrow minded. That's the sad, pathetic truth. Maybe some morals and education can give you a better prospective. If not, take this with a pinch of salt.
With all these drama-mama going on, I don't have the mood to blog about my fiancé's birthday which I will soon with the next few events that will be happening. Heh.
And for those who find me on various social media platform to tell me that you love my posts, I salute you! You and I will be very good friends. For those who are still being bitter and hate me,
k.
I will not stop here, too. Oh to make things easier, you may find these series in the folder called TKKTKCseries. Have a good longgg weekend, because I will. Thank you for the du'as for a smooth sailing journey for our wedding. Syahrul and I appreciate it. In Shaa Allah it will, Amin.
