When you start the maternity leave.

So it has been 4 days since the start of my maternity leave, and I am loving every single day of it. Pregnant mothers-to-be should be entitled a month of pre-maternity leave where we just get to rest before the big day comes. It is not easy to commute to work when you are carrying at least a 2.5kg baby in your tummy! Don't even get me started on the fact that our centre of gravity has shifted! Haha! And before you single people or people who plan to never have children say that it is not fair that we get paid leave, remember that raising a child is going to cost us a long run so our 4 months paid of leave is justified. And you get your late nights with friends/loved ones, nights of blissful sleep and your future can be pretty much planned out with no "what ifs". Yes, it is a choice for made by both two different groups but honestly for Singapore, government pays for half the maternity leave for your company to hire someone meanwhile. So, if you have to pick up the "slack" is because your company didn't hire a replacement or a competent person. Complain to the company, not the pregnant for choosing the be pregnant! So yay! Vote me for president okay! Haha.

Has been a month since I last blogged? Initially I promised to blog at least once a week (even then I thought it was too little!!!) but I have so many things to handover at work, settling my maternity leave and unpacking in our new house. So far, my plan for maternity leave is perfect. Okay, the perks about being in the gahment is that your entitlement, is your entitlement. Additional perks about working in education sector... the holidays! I am fortunate enough to take a month before my EDD which means October and November will be my first half of my Maternity Leave then I do not have to take in December because well, school is closed. Then I am coming back first two weeks of school to settle my kids down before I go back on Maternity Leave and guess when I am coming back? AFTER MARCH HOLIDAYS! Three days after to be exact. Whoop! I can't wait to spend so much time with RKM.



Here's my latest pregnancy updates:

31 weeks 3 days

My current weight: 69.2kg (!!! I have officially gained 10kg since the whole pregnancy!)
Good news: Placenta looks like it is going up, which means I may not have to do an elective c-section. Alhamdulilah! But it needs to keep on moving uppp before Prof can confirm that I can try 100% for natural labour. RKM's head is also down!!! She is no longer in breech position! No wonder I have been feeling kicks at my ribcage and it is not funny okay! This girl is strong! I actually cringe when she kicked my ribcage twice in the middle of the night!!!
RKM's wieght: 2.2kg (estimated by Prof's hands hahaha but I fully trust him lah!)

33 weeks 3 days

My current weight: 70.9kg (Not bad for a span of 2 weeks! I am actually surprised since I am always hungry. I was afraid I will put on more than that but Alhamdulilah!)
Good news: Placenta is confirmed up! This means I can definitely try for natural birth. This is one of the best news so far because it has been low for about 13 weeks and I seriously had no hopes that it will go up. Almost went against Mak's advise to not do urut but like she said, "Kalau dia nak naik, dia akan naik." So Alhamdulilah. I am also thankful for the mummies who read my blog who told me about their personal experience. YAY US!
RKM's weight: 2.5kg (estimated) but she's in the healthy range to be delivered, if touch wood, she decides to show early up which she hasn't shown any signs *crosses fingers* and I hope she stays inside until week 38 at least!



Apart from check-ups, we have been advised by Prof to book our room already! He says "Standby, looks like 1st of November!" Hehehe, okay lah. 1st like the Moma okay! So after contemplating a thousand times over between class A and B1, we decided to take up B1. The price difference is about 1k, if there's no complications for both Moma and RKM. But 1k is A LOT of money to spend just for Baobei to sleepover. So I made him promise to stay the longest and come the earlier a visitor is allowed. And we will use the 1k for RKM's aqiqah, cukur rambut at the mosque etc. More beneficial we feel. Plus it will give me a chance to be with just RKM only.

You know, each time I dream about the delivery, I can't imagine the feeling I will get when I am carrying her in my arms. Just looking at my huge belly, I can't believe that a tiny human is growing inside of me. Subahan Allah. I can't believe RKM picked us to be her parents.

Just yesterday, I had lunch with Mak and Mama and they were sharing about their labour stories. Even worst for them, they had no such thing as laughing gas or epidural. And they gave birth with no worries. What they say is this which makes me want to go through it, no matter how much it is going to hurt,

"All the pain will go away when you carry the baby. The pain that you have to go through, is over and done with. The pain is not going to be remembered when you carry your baby. It will go away."

Any mummies want to share your labour stories? Hehe.

Hahahah, time dulu dulu tengah dating we had big dreams.

Now look at us!

Maybe one of the things I will miss about the pregnancy (not many) will be the borrowed glow.

My skin is rarely oily and there's hardly any breakouts!

So much different from the first trimester and the first half of second trimester!

I pray this will continue after I deliver! Hehehe.

HEHEHEH!

So much love for the Abi.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have a husband who gives me foot massages, rubs my back and makes my nightly milk for me when he sees I am too comfortable on the bed.

This is us just before we went to the babyfair!

We were 36 weeks!

People who see me will always say I don't look big. Someone ever asked if I was 6 months pregnant while my kid asked if my tummy was getting any bigger! But seriously, if you were to see me without my top, you will be amazed at how large it looks! HAHAHA. Will save that for later okay! *winks*

Now people say "Your perut da turun eh." But they actually don't know that my tummy has been low all the while. Just that now I am bigger, it is more obvious that it is. In Shaa Allah I can hold on the fort until 38 weeks! Then I can slow talk to RKM to come out Halloween ke, 1st/3rd/6th of November ke. BUT at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. As long as she's safely out whenever she chooses, we will be very happy to receive her with open arms!

At 36 weeks where my tummy is getting smaller for her, she is super active! Sometimes it can be for an hour! Lately it has been at midnight and Baobei will be like "K, let mommy sleep okay. We will play when you come out which is in another 2 weeks. Don't be so playful." You think she listen? Peduli apa. Hahaha. The Abi can sleep some more! Wait til she comes out, I am going to campak her at Baobei! Hahaha!

Moving on from pregnancy updates, I am still straightening out the finer details of Klothes by Katt but the support I have been receiving is SO amazing! I really can't wait to build this empire and what it may potentially be. The most important thing is that I have the blessings of my husband, family and closest friends who keep disturbing me to hire them in the future! Haha! Will keep you updated about that too.

I can't believe my pregnancy journey is coming to an end and my little princess is going to come along very soon. I sometimes wake up, and wonder how our lives are going to change. I know it is going to change drastically and there's nothing to prepare us for it. Looking forward to our sleepless nights together!!! Haha, especially when Baobei is going to start his LONGGG leave soon to be with his little family.

I will try to keep up with my updates because I will definitely want to have something to look back and read. Thank you for being part of our journey and keeping us in your duas.

Raja K. M. we love you sayang. So much more than you can imagine.

/// PS: I have been told that screenshots of the Kakak-Kakak Kahwin/Tunang Part 3 is making its rounds of Facebook again. I am married to the same man I said I was going to, and I still stand by what I say. 

What comes after 30 weeks

TBH, this pregnancy journey was something I was not excited about. It was tough and most times at the beginning, I just wanted to give up. At one point of time, I was asking what kind of mother would I be for having thoughts of terminating this pregnancy just because I couldn't deal with vomiting all day, er day. But it was tough. I was the verge of tearing myself apart. I wanted to be pregnant so badly when we got married but I didn't know the price that came with it. I am pretty sure, it was the same for Baobei. How difficult it must have been for him to want to do something for me but he couldn't. How difficult it must have been for my family, especially Mama who tried to cook all sorts of food for me just because I couldn't keep anything down.

Now at 32 weeks, I get a little more excited to see this little angel whom Allah has chosen for me to be her mother. A mother at the age of 25 years old eh? I am truly blessed because it gives me so much love and happiness to know that she is still in me yet she brings so much happiness to my family. I can't imagine when she's out. I can't speak for Baobei, but I know this is a huge change for him. Having met me, he has become someone completely different. He said he used to be someone who lives day by day but being with me, makes him plan for the future. Little did we know that his future is intertwined with mine. I still can't forget the fact that this man was so nervous about our nikah that he couldn't fall asleep until 4am? Heh. Thank you, Ya Allah. Yes, were only married for 2 months before we got the news that we are pregnant but we didn't get the luxury to enjoy traveling and dating as husband and wife. Our blessings came in a different form.

I don't know what is the point of me writing all of these.

Maybe it is a reminder to me that people will continue to judge without knowing what it means to be in my shoes. It is a reminder to me that people can have such black hearts and if they can't get to me, who knows one day they will try with my daughter? Throw insults what kind of mother I am, the parenting I/we do, the way my daughter looks/behaves, at which milestone my daughter should be at. Guess what? If you have not given any hoots in our lives/during this journey with us, your opinion is invalid. I could not care less if you are 13, 30 or 50. I will take advice with a pinch of salt but at the end of the day, I am the mother. I have the last say. You want to do some parenting? Start with someone who gives a hoot about your opinion.

Totally not sorry for protecting of my daughter even before she is born.

Moving on to happier things like our latest check-up with Associate Prof Han. From 28 weeks to 31 weeks, I gained 1kg+ so he didn't make any noise. Hahaha. I have always been curious how heavy RKM is and Prof Han always use his hands to "measure" my tummy and estimate her weight. This check-up, I was determined to know her weight but he did his usual routine and said, "About 1.8-1.9kg." I was "Can we get it checked in detail?" So he send us to the clinic to get a detailed scan. Wahlau he said only 30+SGD but the bill was 66SGD! Going to claim the extra from him next check-up hahaha! But we are super glad that we went for the detailed scan for check her weight... because

WE GOT TO SEE HER FACE!!!

The sonographer was super nice because she was doing her thing, and we had no idea what she was measuring. Although we did see through the scan RKM's heart beating. Masha Allah, I am still amazed at that okay... Until the end when sonographer said, "This is her face. But she's covering her other eye with her hand." AWWWWWWWWH BABY. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. It was an amazing moment for us. I was so happy we decided to do the detailed scanning. It was very thoughtful of the sonographer to print a picture of us. We didn't manage to do 3D scan but this is just as amazing. Thank you RKM for showing us your face. Heh.

This is to benefit people like Kak Ada who couldn't tell what she was looking at. Hahah, must love my cousins who have been supportive of Lil Raj's updates.

Worth the 66SGD we spend lah. Oh, she is 1.833kg. Moral of the story? Trust an associate professor although he is just using his hands to "measure". Hahaha.

Anyway, my placenta is still low laying. Sigh. However, my water level is high which is good. I am not using the correct terms but you get it eh? RKM is still in breech position which means her head is still up and her legs are down. Which is okay because we are still early. Which also means, she is having fun kicking my bladder. Yes, I can pee and come back to bed and then still have to go toilet again to pee. Very playful this girl.

At 32 weeks, she has learnt how to punch/elbow/high-5 me on the sides. I don't mind because I get to feel her when she does that. So far, her Abi, Ehyang (Mama) and Yayi (Baba) got to feel her. I am putting a video on Facebook (public) if you want to have a look at how smart this little one is.

I thought it was scary now that my appointment with Prof Han is no longer every 4 weeks but 3! But guess what? Now the frequency has moved to 2 weeks so we are meeting him next week. So fast! Soon it will be weekly check-ups.

TBH, I am still sitting on the fence not sure if I want to opt for natural birth or planned c-sect. People say a planned c-sect is "an easy way out" but it is not true. Both have their different pain and healing. I strongly believe it does not make one mother better than another. I am pretty sure a mother who went through both can agree. Both are equally challenging. Both are tearing your bodies apart. Some days I am okay with natural labour. Some days I feel like planned c-sect is a better option. But I have no idea what is "better." So I am putting my hands in Him. If my placenta is still low, then I know I am meant to have a planned c-sect. If not, I will go through labour even if it means cutting and stitching my vagina, then I will do it. I never knew the strength mothers have until I am becoming one myself. In Shaa Allah.

Me at 32 weeks.

It doesn't help that I am wearing black but people keep commenting how "small" I look. Actually, if I were to show you my actual tummy when I am standing, you will not say I am small. Just ask Baobei, Mama or Kakak. Hahaha. But whatever it is, I am thankful that the weight is going to my tummy and RKM. Just the backache is a killer.

Wardrobe bought from IKEA and fixed by Baobei.

We rearranged her clothes follow sizes and styles.

Yes, that is a lot of clothes for a tiny human but she has so many excited people who are already pampering her.

Syukur Alhamdulilah.

All ready at Bishan house.

We shall wait when I start my maternity leave at 35 weeks, we will slowly take out the plastic and start preparing her crib. Heh.

Another update, we are moving in to Bishan house this week. It has been tiring but my family has been amazing with the move. Especially my parents. Their kindness, we cannot repay. They go over to the house almost every day to paint, to wash, to move things. May Allah bless my parents with good health. Thank you Mama (because I know you read my blog).

Can't wait for the move. Probably blog about the house soon. And that entry about how much is too much or little to give for Malay weddings.

Please keep RKM and me in your du'as.

To our princess, anything after 4 weeks 4 days is safe for you to come out okay? Meanwhile, grow healthily. We love you so much!!! Bet you already know that.

The fabbret number trimester.

I can't believe this is the last lap of my pregnancy already. I know I absolutely hate it when people say this but I am going to say it anyway, "It feels so fast." I remember thinking that this is taking forever and I don't know how women do it more than once. But another part of me feels like it is fast, especially when I had those horrible pregnancy symptoms go away by the mid of second trimester.

So third trimester eh?

Haha, Kakak who helped me take these photos was like "You brought your milestone card out?!" Uhh yeah, 28 weeks is a big deal leh. And yes, third trimester starts at 28 weeks. And this was taken two weeks ago.

So how is this different from the second trimester you say?

Well, for starters I can still eat like a normal human being although for me mornings had and have always been the hardest battles. Most days RKM wants proper food like meat in the morning, while some days I don't feel like eating anything but I know I have to or else it is going to be hell for me. I still puke sometimes when I brush my teeth which TBH, I have never hated brushing teeth in my life but I dread it during pregnancy. The acid reflux gets bad but Gaviscon is a life saver I tell you!

I still have energy but not as much as compared to second trimester. Some days I surrender by 9 or 10pm. Some days RKM doesn't let me sleep or fall back to sleep after I pee in the middle of the night. Just last Sunday I was awake from 5 am and couldn't fall back asleep after peeing. It was a freaking Sunday and I was supposed to sleep in with Baobei. Haha. So yes, I have started sleepless nights.

My feet are not aching per se but my heels hurt like mad. They have not started swelling yet (and I hope they don't). Maybe because I am still early in my third trimester. But Baobei has been helping me massage every night when he is home without me asking. Usually when we are watching tv in bed, he will randomly pick my foot up and start massaging. Heh.

My back is constantly aching. I can't sit down for more than half an hour with no back support. So yes, RKM is definitely growing bigger.

Speaking of which,

Raja K. M.

Since she has grown taller, she can no longer be captured in one picture. Currently her head is still up and her feet are down, which of course she is having fun kicking my bladder. Initially we wanted to tryout for a 3D scan but KKH doesn't do that anymore. Private hospitals do them but they are super expensive! The cheapest was Parkway East and even they charge $375 for them! Well 3D scan shows the features of the baby so you can more or less see how she looks like even before she is born. But it is okay lah. We shall just let that be special on the day I deliver her.

So our last check-up with Associate Prof Han, I was 28 weeks + 5 days. My check-ups with him has always been every 4 weeks. But this round when he saw me, the first thing he said, "YOU PUT ON 4KG? WHAT DID YOU DO? 4KG!" Hahaha, so throughout the whole check-up, he was surprised that I actually put 4 kg over a span of 4 weeks. Apparently, ideally 0.5kg a week but I double that. Hahaha! Must be the desserts that I have been feeding myself. The weight is going to my tummy and RKM who is, Alhamdulilah, normal sized. Unless baby is exceptionally large then I may have Gestational Diabetes (diabetes during pregnancy but goes away after you give birth for most women). So Alhamdulilah for that. I am so afraid of getting that but that doesn't mean I am safe because I still have quite a fair bit to go. So now I am more cautious about sweet things although I crave for waffles, ice cream and chocolate all the time!

Unfortunately, my placenta is still low which is a bigger concern since I have crossed over to my third trimester. The passage way where RKM is supposed to come out from is blocked. However Associate Prof Han says this will be up for discussion when I reach 36 weeks to plan for an elective c-section. I have asked for both Mak and Mama's advice and agreed to not go for any kind of urut because RKM is inside of me! After all, this is His plans for me so if it meant to go up, it will. But low placenta only means bed rest for me. I can't even go for swimming! And if there's any spotting/bleeding even at 2 am, I have to go straight to the delivery ward because I am at risk of preterm labour (anything before 37 weeks). So I am being extra careful not to overexert myself physically. And no, unfortunately there's nothing I can do or eat to help it go up. In Shaa Allah, both RKM and I will be well protected by Him.

So here's what is scary now that I have reached my third trimester and I know that labour is just around the corner for me. My appointment frequency is now 3 weeks! Which means, the next check-up, I will be 31 weeks already. So anxious!!!

WE HAVE REACHED 30 WEEKS!

Which means we have 7-10 weeks more to go. At 37 weeks, the baby is safe to be delivered already as the last organ which is the lungs has already developed. So sweetpea, anything after 37 weeks you can pop okay? Mama commented that I am carrying her a little low than what it should be so she suspects this baby is going to come out before my EDD. As long as she is healthy to be out, I am cool with that.

"Dear RKM, your Abi has been saying that he can't wait for his playmate to come out. I think we are both nervous at the life changing moment we are about to face in our life together but we are certain that you will be worth that moment. Sometimes I am worried if you're going to be okay once you're outside of me because it means I can't keep you safe inside of me but everyone is so excited to meet you. Ehyang, Yayi, Bonda and Masbro especially. Abi and I may not have our parental instincts kicked in yet but we will have them once we have you, that I know for sure. Your Abi? He is going to love you so much. Even when you're inside, he tells you every night after he baca doa for you that he loves you. Remember his voice? He doesn't always carry newborns because they are tiny but you're going to be an exception. You're his exception because you're his princess. We love you. Continue to grow healthily okay? Til we meet, face to face our Raja K. M."

Loving my borrowed pregnancy glow.

And of course, as RKM gets bigger and my womb is getting smaller for her, I can feel her every movement. This also means she keeps me awake with her little yoga sessions like this morning at 2,

Not sure if you're doing the cobra pose or warrior pose, but seriously baby not in the middle of the night okay? Your Abi gets amused and sometimes scold you because I am insanely tired and you still want to play around. But he didn't mean it okay.

I am excited to go for my early maternity leave which I am left with TWENTY working days (thank you one week school holidays). Then I can fully concentrate on preparing for RKM's arrival which includes packing hospital bag, getting her cot and wardrobe ready, applying for her CDA and baby bonus, getting our ustaz to write her name in jawi and I am pretty sure the list gets longer.

Please keep us in your prayers. Til the next update which will be soon...

And Baby RKM, Moma and Abi will see you next week where you will 31 weeks + 1 day already! Big girl ah you! We shall ask Associate Prof Han how heavy you are! Hahaha. I am pretty lucky because all the weight I am gaining is going to my tummy and some to the face but everywhere is still good, which only means losing them will be easier.

Can't wait for next week too. Getting my hair and nails fixed in JB while Baobei gets his 2 hours thai massage. Something we both are in need of and the dates we have before she comes along.

XO.