So yes, my last entry was left hanging because hello? I promised to tell all of you what I thought merisik supposed to be VS what actually happened. Chill the hot pants, just because I didn't update doesn't mean that it didn't happen or it didn't end well. I am glad to say that the planning between Baobei and I, to us and my parents, to us and his parents, to my parents and his parents, have been amazingly smooth sailing. Maybe because Baobei and I have settled our different opinions beforehand (not that we have a lot because it turned out we both have similar taste in where our hard earned money goes to).
Okay let me do a timeline of how it happened.
Since we have started going out til September 2013 (Baobei and I):
- The year of the wedding which he knew before he and I dated seriously because it has been the dream to settle down in an odd year (yes, my obsession with odd numbers is still going strong) which is 2015.
- The duit hantaran which is also made known to him before we started to date seriously because I am such the kind of girl who tells the next boy she meets that she is looking for a potential husband and not boyfriend.
- The kind of wedding we want. Lucky me, I found someone who also wants a small intimate wedding because we are that kind of people.
- After jumping from potential dates for The Wedding, we were down to two dates. Little did I know that the two dates hold significant events in his life (I knew of one but not the other).
- We made a complete change to The Wedding to The Edited Wedding and how we want to have it.
September 2013-Early November 2013 (Our parents seperately):
- I spoke to Mama who is very supportive of The Edited Wedding, while we spoke to Baba who was not to keen at first but slowly understood where we were coming from.
- We had a harder time trying to convince his parents to agree to The Edited Wedding, but had their blessings for the 'Go Ahead'. (I liked the fact during the conversation, Baobei has his arms placed behind me, and I don't know if it was done intentionally or not, but it made me feel like we are in this together.)
- Sometime in between, we did the research for The Edited Wedding because we wanted to have numbers before The Merisik happens.
- Picked the date of The Edited Wedding.
- Had the numbers and spoke to our parents.
- Finalized with both our parents and set the date for The Merisik.
December 2013 (The Merisik):
*Note: What I thought would happened, happened plus here and there.
- It is actually nerve wrecking. Believe it or not, when they were on the way to my place, I was feeling SO nervous. Not the kind where I am not sure if I want this or not but more of the Wow-Our-Relationship-Is-Taking-Another-Level. Thank goodness, one of my bridesmaids calmed me down as I crazily spammed her phone. Haha.
- Well, dinner was served in the kitchen while I entertained Aqeel in the living room.
- Parents talked about their feelings with regards to The Edited Wedding, and talked through it. Being Malays, we come from big families and talked about how The Edited Wedding will affect our extended families.
- Hantaran is also another issue brought up, because his parents thought it is not up to the market price. However Baba said "Small or big, people will always talk. We can never shut people's mouth, so as long as we do what is required, let them be."
- Confirmed the date of The Engagement, time, number of dulangs to be exchanged, what to be exchanged, number of guests.
- Confirmed the date of The Edited Wedding and things we have discussed thus far.
- Status of both families: Happy = Happy Us.
Baobei and I faced a lot of hiccups along the way, which of course it is not easy to deal with things that is a first to the both of us. At one point of time I was very frustrated and asked a close cousin of mine, Kak E, on how to deal with parents who may not agree to our plans and she gave such a good advice. So to all future BTBs and BTBs:
Always, always explain to both set of parents why you do it in such a way. Take their point of view into consideration, as well as talk to them calmly about yours. At the end of the day, it is not about pleasing them and giving in to them, it is about getting their blessings. What is a wedding without parents' blessings?
So what is the big difference between The Wedding VS The Edited Wedding and who are my bridesmaids? Rumour has it, I have 1 Maid of Honour (MOH) & 6 bridesmaids and they said YES! So many things to update but the only thing I have put deposit for is my henna (haha!) and two more things to deposit but already secured for, and we are done. Simple right? The Edited Wedding up next.
Meanwhile, let me drown in work because it is getting crazy, and school is starting soon so I foresee a busy but short year (please, please because I cannot wait haha!). Weekly yoga should commence to calm the inner me, and beach tanning too. It is a year to tone up the body for The Engagement which is soooooon and The Edited Wedding.
Come to think of it, Bridezilla-Renny isn't too bad. *wink
Wahh. Your's macam happening aje, so many events leading up to the big day. Hehh. Good luck with the whole engagement process dear! Don't turn into a bridezillaaaaaa~
ReplyDeletePS: I'll tweet you, just in case you're unsure who I am. Hahaha.