The (painful) first trimester.

Paiseh eh! 12 weeks is not the end of the first trimester. 14 weeks is the end of the first trimester. So if you are reading this post, I am done with my first trimester fo'real.

Anyway, if you have read my last post here about how unexpected this little miracle of ours, you would know that we went ahead with our "second honeymoon"/babymoon to Phuket. Initially both our parents were skeptical about letting us go because the pregnancy is still new and we are overseas. But looking at how okay I was, they allowed us to go anyway. But guess what lah friends? Morning sickness kicked in while we were in Phuket. Luckily we booked rooms with swimming pool/jacuzzi and they had great room service. When Mama and Abang picked us at the airport, I couldn't be more relieved to see Mama that I wanted to cry there and then.

The next day we saw Asst Prof Han at KKH Clinic for our first check-up.

Basically the check-up was to confirm our pregnancy.

We could see the egg sac that holds our little #kattkrownjr.

Anyway, it was about that time we broke the news to our closest friends and we were so happy about the love this little one is already receiving. 

It was bed rest for me the moment I got home. I had zero appetite because I was feeling nausea all the time. It wasn't just in the morning as the name suggests but it was all day, err day for me. Every waking moment, I felt nausea. It didn't help when I did manage to eat, it goes back to the toilet bowl. Mama tried to cook all sorts of things for me, even the ones she never cooked before, just to see what kind of food I can tolerate. 

I am very thankful to Mama and Baobei. Mama cooks for me all the time and making sure that I am okay. She helps to change my bedsheet because I was on it all the time, and TBH that's just gross haha. Baobei will always follow me to the toilet when I threw up and helped to rub my back. And they both have wiped my tears when I was crying from feeling super helpless at what I was feeling. I was probably depressed at one point of time because I am feeling nausea 24/7. Yes, vomiting means you have a healthy baby inside of you, but I couldn't help feeling so useless that I couldn't keep any food down and I didn't feel like a normal person. I was sleeping half the time while the other half of the time I am forcing myself to sleep so I don't vomit out my food or feel nausea.

I even joked with Baobei and told him that we are just having one kid. That's it.

We were supposed to have an appointment with Asst Prof Han 4 weeks later but one day, I couldn't keep anything down; food or water. I was on the bed crying already. Baobei looked at me, feeling very helpless because this is not something he can do for me. So he brought me to KKH A&E where the doctor couldn't hospitalised me because I wasn't severely dehydrated but she gave me a different pill for the vomiting, which helped most times.

Then we scheduled for an earlier appointment with Asst Prof Han because I needed long MC (yup, I didn't go back to work after March holidays). 

This one is harder to see because our little one is at the top right hand corner.

And our little on is now long.

Hahaha. Our friends had a hard time guessing where's the little one.

(Right Shiqs and Zaki? ;p )

It my cousin's, Kak E, words "It is amazing how something so small can make you feel nausea all the time." 

#kattkrownjr's EDD is mid November, according to my last menstrual cycle. We are quite pleased with the date (actually no preference also).

Things started to look up at Week 9 where I had good days and bad days. Good days where I can eat properly without vomiting or nausea after. Bad days where nothing stays in at all. It got bad one day while Baobei was at work and no one was home, so I called him crying. Luckily my parents were on the way home from JB, so they fetched me to KKH A&E where I had to be on drip for 2 hours because I was dehydrated and had no food intake:

Bad days always, always happen when Baobei is at work. So attached to the father this one. Always acting up when he is at work. 

Anyway, we decided to bring Mama for the last check-up because according my app, we can hear the baby's heartbeat! 

Our little #kattkrownjr was moving during the scan!

It was such an amazing feeling!

Like as if #kattkrownjr was waving hello to us and Grandma 

(yes, that's what Mama wants to be called).

We also managed to hear the heartbeat!

How fast our little one has grown from the last scan!

We also found out that #kattkrownjr's EDD is pushed forward a week earlier, which means I ovulate much earlier than what was predicted by the app. Whatever it is, super thankful for this little one.

We also forgo the down syndrome test because both of us are pretty young so Asst Prof Han says the chances are very small. Also both sides of our families do not carry genes. Anyway, this is all kuasa Tuhan. In Shaa Allah diberikan apa yang terbaik for us.

I swear that during the trying period of the first trimester, I held on to the fact that I am partly doing this for my parents. I know how much my parents loves babies/kids and I want them very much to have a cucu to hold. And I hope the "baby dust" will spread to Kakak and Kak Yaya soon because I need people to go through this with and suffer hahahah.

You know, sometimes I wish they were pregnant instead of me. Being the youngest, I always have the luxury of knowing what to expect because Kakak has to go through school, work, marriage etc first so I have someone to ask how is it like. I know this is rezeki masing-masing but I just wish things happen a little differently. In Shaa Allah though. 

Oh on a side note, please don't tell me that I have no right to be happy about my pregnancy. I am entitled to be happy. I am not showing off because as you can see, my pregnancy is not a bed of roses. I am not putting it out there and shoving the fact that I am pregnant because you're not pregnant yet or you had a miscarriage. Please remember, all of these come from Allah. I am sharing my happiness and of course, I want something to read later on about my pregnancy (just like my wedding), and if you can't see that, unfollow me/don't read me. Common sense, no? No one put a gun to your head, really. And I have no energy to argue with dumb, narrow minded people. Baobei was "Jangan layan lah orang gini. So busok hati." I don't usually complain to my husband but I share everything with him.

On a happier note, our next check-up is end of this month. We may be able to find out if we are having a girl or boy then. That is if #kattkrownjr is cooperative. It is also easier to see if we are having a boy than a girl. If not, we can only find out on our 5 month scan which is end of June. But whatever it is, girl or boy, as long as you're healthy, sweetheart because that's what Moma and Daddy/Abi want. Yes, Baobei can't decide if he wants to be called Daddy or Abi (ye lah, mana nyer Arab my husband but leave it to him to think of such things).

So I told him, if #kattkrownjr is girl then you will be called Abi and if boy then you will be called Daddy. For the supportive online friends/strangers, thank you for your doas and kind wishes, please keep us in mind until November.

I am still waiting for my magical day where I don't feel nausea/vomit and can finally eat like a normal person. In Shaa Allah soon! Pray for me please!