5th month mark and we are having a...

I know, I know it is the June holidays and I should have more time to blog but I am starting to feel normal (although some pregnancy symptoms still irk me, but I am thankful for no more morning sickness which I will talk about it in awhile). Therefore I am enjoying what normal has to offer me by going for dates with Baobei and my close friends. Also, we went to Bandung for 5 days 4 nights on the first week of June (will also blog about it in case you need to make a trip there). Oh how time flies, I am left with 2 DAYS of school holidays before my crazy Term 3 commences.

BUT the bright side is despite the busy (and I mean, very) 3 months I am going to have, I am looking at early maternity leave. I am planning to take one month early maternity leave which will start in October then continue til November. Since December is school holidays, I do not have to take any for that month. Go back to work for a week in January to settle my kids down and go back to maternity leave until end of February (or if I am lucky, it can stretch til first week of March). So hoorah! The perks of working in school.

Anyway, we have finally hit our 5th month mark!

20 WEEKS!

I have been carrying little one for 20 weeks already!

(inserts lots of hearts)

To be honest, I was very worried how the little one is doing inside. I keep asking myself, "Is little one growing well inside?" Plus the 5th month scan is a detailed scan where sonographer checks for everything! The heart, kidneys, spine, fingers, toes etc. They even measure the nose bridge because any abnormality indicates something not good with the baby. It is extra worrying for us, although we made a decision at 12 weeks, since we forgo the Down Syndrome test. But we will never know right? Doa and tawakal aje.

So on Wednesday, we went for our detailed scan. Mama tagged along because this was going to be one cool check up, and deep down inside I also knew if I were to learn something not good about little one, I needed my mother around.

Entered the room and there's 2 screens. One for us to look at the sonographer's screen and one is the sonographer's. The lady was nice and explained a little here and there what she was doing. She said, "Today is a photography session. We are going to take a lot of pictures." The night before I was talking to the little one to behave for tomorrow's scan because they needed to be able to see little one clearly for measurements after our storybook session

Because my aunty had to go for a walk and come back because Adam was curling in a position that made it hard to take good pictures for the measurements. Before we went for the check up, I talked to little one again. So during the scan, the sonographer had to push my tummy here and there, then she commented, "You have one sleepy baby." HAHAHA, little one was asleep lah during the scan! So sonographer asked me to cough so that little one will move. Baobei was already laughing at me because I had to fake cough. HAHAHA. I ended up laughing which little one woke up and yawned! Sonographer was, "The mouth so big! Yawning away." Hahah didn't manage to video little one yawning but SubhanAllah, it was truly amazing.

Then sonographer needed to check for little one's backbone and I needed to fake cough again because little one went back to sleep apparently. Aiyo, Daddy's first day off or the little one. So attached and same like the daddy! Geram! Then Baobei tickled my foot so that my laughter will wake little one! HAHAHA. Told him he can work here part time when the sonographer needs the mummies to make their babies move.

Last but not least, sonographer asked, "Have you found out the sex of the baby?" The golden question!!! We were like, "The doctor couldn't confirm it last scan but we are hoping to find out." So I had to lie down on my left so that little one's legs will open up... and then

Hehe, we all had our guesses and apparently the only giveaway was the shape of my tummy... Yup, we are expecting

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"Nabi cakap, untung anak pertama anak perempuan."

(Now I know why little one always act up when Daddy goes to work!)

My gfs are super excited for me. Within 10 minutes of the news that we are carrying a baby girl, Li bought me and the little one matching top knot headbands which she defended her buy by saying "I have been waiting for this moment LOL. To have a reason to buy girly stuff." This is a mother of a baby boy. Then when I was whats'apping Shiqs, she was "I JUST BROWSED FOR YOU BABY'S GIFT." And when I met up with my poly friends, they were itching to buy baby stuff but couldn't wait to find out the gender! Heheh, little one is so loved even before she is born. I love my friends!

Which after the check up, Grandma (Mama) got super excited that we dropped by Mothercare at KKH jugak to get this for little one:

Pink socks! Seluar panjang!

So mentel kan with the prints and lace!!!

We are happy regardless girl or boy to be honest. We are happier to hear that although I only gained 1.2kg from the last check up (which means the last 4 weeks), little one is doing well like she should be. I just need to eat more to help to gain weight but we are both okay. The only thing that Prof Han was mentioning about the results from the detailed scan is my placenta is lower than it should be.

Which simply means (adapted from here):

The placenta develops wherever the egg embeds in the womb (uterus). Placenta praevia happens when it develops low down in the womb and stays low-lying beyond mid-pregnancy.
If your placenta is near your cervix when you’re ready to give birth, it may block your baby’s exit route through your vagina. Placenta praevia can also cause bleeding in mid-pregnancy to late-pregnancy.
If the placenta covers your cervix at the end of your pregnancy, your baby's route through your vagina will be blocked. The placenta may be partly covering your cervix (minor placenta praevia) or completely covering it (major placenta praevia). In both cases your baby will need to be born by caesarean section.

However, chances are the placenta will go up naturally in the next few weeks/months so I do not have to opt for a c-section for now. But at this point of time, I need to be open to options. My gf, Li, said her SIL went for urut to naikkan the placenta but Mama, Mak and Cik Awa (Mama's bestfriend) said the best is to let it be and if have to, just do a planned c-section. To be honest, it is scary to do urut even by professionals with little one inside. Kak E went through an emergency c-section and she recovered well. And no one is less of a mother if she does c-sect or natural birth. All are still worthy of the name; Mother.

The pros about doing a planned c-section are 

1) we get to pick a date 

2) Baobei can be inside the op theater with me 

I asked him yesterday if he will be okay inside the op theater with me but I underestimate my husband. He is excited that he get to feeling2 like the asian scrub nurse in Grey's Anatomy. HAHAHA. Suka hati you Baobei, asalkan you happy and tak pengsan okay!

So anyway, while we were in Bandung, it was impossible not to shop for little one's clothes because tiny clothes are really adorable. Ibu was saying I can get baby girl stuff and give away if little one is a boy but I didn't want to so bought a lot of unisex stuff or more for boy hahaha. Look at our guilty buys:

Yup, a whole luggage of little one's clothes.

There's guitar, soccer ball and even dinosaurs! Hahaha

But our secret buy (chosen by Baobei)

With a little hope that we may be carrying a baby girl.

SO NOW LITTLE ONE CAN WEAR THIS!!!

Oh, I bought these back in Hong Kong 3 years ago with Haiya but never had an opportunity to give anyone because they only had baby boy. So now little one gets to wear these too:

HEHEHEHEHE

Animal preenz!!!

So anyway now that we know that we are carrying a baby girl, I want to clear some "myths"/share some of the annoying pregnancy symptoms I still have:

1) Kakak is always saying, "You are so lazy, maybe you're carrying a baby boy!"

I am not lazy, I am just insanely tired. Although I have more energy than I did in my first trimester (yes, I am able to stay up past 12 midnight), I still get tired easily. 

2) If you're carrying a girl, she will steal your glow. If you're carrying a boy, you will glow.

For me, I have very, very bad breakouts all over my face and neck. New pimples pop out every day and they don't heal properly. I can't take antibiotics to help me manage the breakouts and no matter what I use on my face, it is still the same. The cause? Hormones. When will it end? When I give birth. I will take a picture of my face and you can see how much it pains me that my skin is currently in a bad state. Which is also why I am super lazy to wear make-up because I don't want my skin to get worst and it is sometimes painful. Sigh. So is my little one stealing my glow? I hope so and I want her to have dimples since she and her daddy have the family name (haha nak jugak eh). But I also know people who carry girls and they are glowing just fine. So this is not very accurate.

3) If your tummy is circular, you're carrying a boy. If your tummy is flat and wide, you're carrying a girl. 

For me, my tummy is flat and wide. It was not popping outwards. That's why most people guessed that I am carrying a baby girl. And for most people I know, their tummies do show accurately what gender they are carrying.

4) Food takes very, very long to digest and I get hungry easily and at odd timings.

I can eat Nasi Lemak at 12pm and only burping my Nasi Lemak at 3-4pm. It takes very, very long for me to digest my food which is why I don't eat a big portion during my meals. I get hungry between 4 to 7am which is when the little one starts kicking me. Oh, which also means I have to eat proper food first thing in the morning or I will feel nausea until the next food intake. On the 5th month check-up, I didn't eat anything until 11.30am which was 2 bites of chicken pie. Next thing I know, I see black spots and had to be wheelchair-ed around KKH.

5) I cannot stand for very long. 

If I stand more than 5 minutes, my right ear will be blocked which is an indication that I am going to feel nausea or pass out anytime soon. So, Geylang Bazaar is out of the question for me since I will need to find places to sit after awhile. Not sure how I am going to survive in July's Baby Fair.

6) I only started to show at Week 17

7) At Week 18, I am sure that the movements in my tummy is from little one kicking me and not my food digesting.

The first few days, the movements/kicks were very hard to catch but Baobei managed to feel them. Then Kakak and Mama. Haha. Now the little one kicks me more often or she is getting stronger!!! But most times, it is after I eat or if I have not eaten. Now, I am trying to catch her kick and can be seen from my tummy moving upwards on video!

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Anyway, I will be setting the video of the little snippet of my sonogram that I uploaded on Facebook to public if you want to have a look (it is the same on IG). You can find me at "Renny Rahman".

Now is back to searching for one thing: Baby names.

Initially we had a thought of a boy's name which we can keep for the next one (haha, ada hati nak go through another 12 weeks of morning sickness). But for now, you're still my little one okay? You're still Baby Raja. So please little one, grow well okay like you have been for the last 20 weeks. We shall aim to gain at least 2 to 4 healthy kilograms for the next check-up and hopefully the placenta will go up then.

Oh, although it is fasting month, we can't fast because my tummy will masok angin which will cause me to be nausea and black out but we will try in a few days time! If not, I will bayar balik after little one comes out. No biggie.

You have been such a beautiful blessing, little one.

Yes, I will get my blogging game going strong with our house (which we plan to move in by August) which includes the process of resale flats and the things I/we have planned for our little one, which includes what and why we are buying certain things.

Ramadan Kareem to all Muslim people

and XO.

The things I have to give up for our little one.

Few days ago, I posted an old picture of us from two years ago along with this caption. 2015 has been filled with lots of surprises and good vibes, and we are truly blessed for everything that is given to us. We are not "lucky" because these things comes with a price tag but we have been blessed with rezeki that has been given to us. People think we have it easy but they don't see what goes behind "the scene". They think we have money because we have a bike, a family car, a house that will start renovation soon and a little one coming up, but they have no idea how much we are sacrificing to be independent and standing on our two feet. Talk is easy but I am pretty sure these people will have a hard time standing in our shoes. But who cares right about them?

Many people expressed their opinion that we are having our little one too soon. TBH, they are right. We got pregnant a month ++ after our wedding (which it would have been fun to be "bunting pelamin" and have "family" members talk about it) which means we only had one month + of date nights out of the house. But the pregnancy has even made us closer to each other and something for us to look forward to. Yes, we do miss the moments when I wasn't nausea or vomiting or too tired to do cool stuff, but we are looking forward to the end product. Anyway there is no right time to be pregnant and have kids. And I have always planned to close factory before I turn 30.

One of the things I had to give up was what I have been saving for; Klothes by Katt. I have everything planned from my right hand man to my photoshoot to my kind of clothes for K by K to even talking to the man who is going to help me produce my clothing line to having my own office which means quitting my full time job before I work on Kouture by Katt. I planned to the last detail but I have to push it back to 2016 because my priority goes to the little one.

One of the things we had to give up was the whole house renovation. Initially when we bought the house, we wanted to redo the whole house and then move in. I even had several boards on Pinterest on how I would imagine our house would be but alas with the little one coming pretty soon, house is no longer a priority. So we are only repainting the house and redoing the kitchen cabinet. That's it. The rest has to wait after the little one is at least 2 years old, and maybe by then we may even decide to have another one (hahaha, ada hati nak go through another round of first trimester) and the doing-up house has to wait until we close factory. Oh, goodbye baby pink SMEG fridge. 

The other things we had to give up include spending unnecessary things on ourselves. Which just simply means less shopping for us. But we find every single thing we give up, is worth for the end product. We can't wait for November to come quick (or October if the little one decides to pop out earlier). Hell, we can't wait for end of this month for the detailed scan and to find out if I am carrying a boy or a girl.

Oh speaking of scans, here is the little one at 16 weeks:

Such a blessing to be able to carry this little one.

My heart is screaming with so much love!!!

Anyway, on our last visit with Asst Prof Han, we asked him if we are having a girl or boy. He was scanning and moving it here and there to get a better look, and then asked, "You want girl or boy?" And we said, "We have no preference." Then he told us his hunch! HAHAH, but he can't confirm it because our little one is lying down sideways so it was hard to see. But in his words, "High chance it is a ......" (Little one cannot be naughty on the next visit okay! Must be cooperative!)

But marrying Baobei is like marrying a Chinese. Like a Chinese, family name can only be carried down by sons. Baobei is the last man in his family that can carry his family name because his uncles either have no children or no sons. So if we have daughters only, his family name Raja will die with him but if we have at least a son, and when our son have children, they will have Raja in their name. But regardless girl or boy, our children's names will start with Raja. So I jokingly told him that if I am angry with him and the kids, I will shout, "RAJAAAAAA," and everyone has to come out to be punished. Hahahaha. 

Little one can now hear, and recognise voices and apparently is moving which means it is a matter of time before I can feel but the thing is, each time my tummy moves I think my food is digesting and I can't tell the difference! Haha!!! Mama is excited asking me to tell her once I can start feeling the baby move! Baobei also makes an effort to talk to the little one and putting his ear on my tummy to check if the little one is sleeping. HAHAH! Super adorable and so much love!!! Other times Baobei will start rubbing the tummy or he puts his hand on my tummy to feel the little one's heartbeat! 

I got this cream, as recommended by Kak E, for my growing tummy which Baobei puts for me when he is not at work just before sleeping:

Thanks Mama for buying the cream for me :D

Mama and Baba are super excited for the next scan because it means they get to start buying bottles and baby clothes! Right now, they don't know if they should be buying pink or blue milk bottles etc. Mama even bought the mattress and pillow set for the little one when the little one was only 12 weeks old. Super blessed!!!

Me at 15 weeks turning 16, and Baobei, well 2 years already.

HAHAHAHA.

My friends said that my tummy is the same size as theirs after dinner so let me show you this:

This was slightly after turning 16 weeks!

I am naturally a slim build person who does have her "bigger moments" where it ends up on my thighs and ass, but I don't always have a tummy. So having a bulging tummy is something I am not used to and up til now, it takes awhile to get used to. Heh. I once what'sapp Baobei that and his reply was, "I am used to having a tummy." Haha!

Anyway, I still owe tons of entries about haus hunting to the process of buying a resale flat to the things that we bought for the house before I will blog if we are having a girl or boy. Soon you will see 2 pages; one for house and one for the little one for updates like you see for the wedding!

Anyway any guesses?

The (painful) first trimester.

Paiseh eh! 12 weeks is not the end of the first trimester. 14 weeks is the end of the first trimester. So if you are reading this post, I am done with my first trimester fo'real.

Anyway, if you have read my last post here about how unexpected this little miracle of ours, you would know that we went ahead with our "second honeymoon"/babymoon to Phuket. Initially both our parents were skeptical about letting us go because the pregnancy is still new and we are overseas. But looking at how okay I was, they allowed us to go anyway. But guess what lah friends? Morning sickness kicked in while we were in Phuket. Luckily we booked rooms with swimming pool/jacuzzi and they had great room service. When Mama and Abang picked us at the airport, I couldn't be more relieved to see Mama that I wanted to cry there and then.

The next day we saw Asst Prof Han at KKH Clinic for our first check-up.

Basically the check-up was to confirm our pregnancy.

We could see the egg sac that holds our little #kattkrownjr.

Anyway, it was about that time we broke the news to our closest friends and we were so happy about the love this little one is already receiving. 

It was bed rest for me the moment I got home. I had zero appetite because I was feeling nausea all the time. It wasn't just in the morning as the name suggests but it was all day, err day for me. Every waking moment, I felt nausea. It didn't help when I did manage to eat, it goes back to the toilet bowl. Mama tried to cook all sorts of things for me, even the ones she never cooked before, just to see what kind of food I can tolerate. 

I am very thankful to Mama and Baobei. Mama cooks for me all the time and making sure that I am okay. She helps to change my bedsheet because I was on it all the time, and TBH that's just gross haha. Baobei will always follow me to the toilet when I threw up and helped to rub my back. And they both have wiped my tears when I was crying from feeling super helpless at what I was feeling. I was probably depressed at one point of time because I am feeling nausea 24/7. Yes, vomiting means you have a healthy baby inside of you, but I couldn't help feeling so useless that I couldn't keep any food down and I didn't feel like a normal person. I was sleeping half the time while the other half of the time I am forcing myself to sleep so I don't vomit out my food or feel nausea.

I even joked with Baobei and told him that we are just having one kid. That's it.

We were supposed to have an appointment with Asst Prof Han 4 weeks later but one day, I couldn't keep anything down; food or water. I was on the bed crying already. Baobei looked at me, feeling very helpless because this is not something he can do for me. So he brought me to KKH A&E where the doctor couldn't hospitalised me because I wasn't severely dehydrated but she gave me a different pill for the vomiting, which helped most times.

Then we scheduled for an earlier appointment with Asst Prof Han because I needed long MC (yup, I didn't go back to work after March holidays). 

This one is harder to see because our little one is at the top right hand corner.

And our little on is now long.

Hahaha. Our friends had a hard time guessing where's the little one.

(Right Shiqs and Zaki? ;p )

It my cousin's, Kak E, words "It is amazing how something so small can make you feel nausea all the time." 

#kattkrownjr's EDD is mid November, according to my last menstrual cycle. We are quite pleased with the date (actually no preference also).

Things started to look up at Week 9 where I had good days and bad days. Good days where I can eat properly without vomiting or nausea after. Bad days where nothing stays in at all. It got bad one day while Baobei was at work and no one was home, so I called him crying. Luckily my parents were on the way home from JB, so they fetched me to KKH A&E where I had to be on drip for 2 hours because I was dehydrated and had no food intake:

Bad days always, always happen when Baobei is at work. So attached to the father this one. Always acting up when he is at work. 

Anyway, we decided to bring Mama for the last check-up because according my app, we can hear the baby's heartbeat! 

Our little #kattkrownjr was moving during the scan!

It was such an amazing feeling!

Like as if #kattkrownjr was waving hello to us and Grandma 

(yes, that's what Mama wants to be called).

We also managed to hear the heartbeat!

How fast our little one has grown from the last scan!

We also found out that #kattkrownjr's EDD is pushed forward a week earlier, which means I ovulate much earlier than what was predicted by the app. Whatever it is, super thankful for this little one.

We also forgo the down syndrome test because both of us are pretty young so Asst Prof Han says the chances are very small. Also both sides of our families do not carry genes. Anyway, this is all kuasa Tuhan. In Shaa Allah diberikan apa yang terbaik for us.

I swear that during the trying period of the first trimester, I held on to the fact that I am partly doing this for my parents. I know how much my parents loves babies/kids and I want them very much to have a cucu to hold. And I hope the "baby dust" will spread to Kakak and Kak Yaya soon because I need people to go through this with and suffer hahahah.

You know, sometimes I wish they were pregnant instead of me. Being the youngest, I always have the luxury of knowing what to expect because Kakak has to go through school, work, marriage etc first so I have someone to ask how is it like. I know this is rezeki masing-masing but I just wish things happen a little differently. In Shaa Allah though. 

Oh on a side note, please don't tell me that I have no right to be happy about my pregnancy. I am entitled to be happy. I am not showing off because as you can see, my pregnancy is not a bed of roses. I am not putting it out there and shoving the fact that I am pregnant because you're not pregnant yet or you had a miscarriage. Please remember, all of these come from Allah. I am sharing my happiness and of course, I want something to read later on about my pregnancy (just like my wedding), and if you can't see that, unfollow me/don't read me. Common sense, no? No one put a gun to your head, really. And I have no energy to argue with dumb, narrow minded people. Baobei was "Jangan layan lah orang gini. So busok hati." I don't usually complain to my husband but I share everything with him.

On a happier note, our next check-up is end of this month. We may be able to find out if we are having a girl or boy then. That is if #kattkrownjr is cooperative. It is also easier to see if we are having a boy than a girl. If not, we can only find out on our 5 month scan which is end of June. But whatever it is, girl or boy, as long as you're healthy, sweetheart because that's what Moma and Daddy/Abi want. Yes, Baobei can't decide if he wants to be called Daddy or Abi (ye lah, mana nyer Arab my husband but leave it to him to think of such things).

So I told him, if #kattkrownjr is girl then you will be called Abi and if boy then you will be called Daddy. For the supportive online friends/strangers, thank you for your doas and kind wishes, please keep us in mind until November.

I am still waiting for my magical day where I don't feel nausea/vomit and can finally eat like a normal person. In Shaa Allah soon! Pray for me please!